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Catherine West

Tag Archives: Adoptive Parents

The Miracle of “Less Than” by Sonia Meeter

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by Catherine West in Blogging, Life, Writing

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Adoption, Adoptive Parents, Life, National Adoption Awareness Month, Struggles

It hit me while I was at the Orange County Fair several years ago: I have never seen a baby being born. As I watched the sow drop her piglets, I realized that was the first time I had seen a mammal give birth. Sadness and regret welled up within me. Unlike this mama pig, I have not experienced the miracle of birth. I was not present when my two daughters were born. Another typical “joy of motherhood” experience that was lost to me.

I am an adoptive mother. Adoption was never a “We Can’t Conceive” Plan B. In both cases, the Lord called my husband and me to abandon our Biological Children Plan and choose his Adoption Plan, aka Plan A.

Oh sure, I have two biological children, but they live in heaven. God is raising my children while I’m raising His. At first, I didn’t have such a lofty perspective of this calling. I’m ashamed to admit how recently this season ended.

Our society tends to think of adoption as the “next best thing” to having biological children. If you’re having fertility issues, well, you can always adopt. People assume that’s why my husband and I adopted. For years, I wanted to announce, “I sacrificed having biological children to adopt these girls!”

For me, this was the ultimate sacrifice.

I love my girls as if I birthed them. Unfortunately, that love is not always reciprocated. Many adoptees suffer an incredible wound because they were abandoned by their birth moms. That abandonment leaves a permanent hole in their hearts – and, no matter how much I love my two daughters, it’s like pouring water into a bucket with a puncture in the bottom. I feel as if there will always be a wall obstructing our mother-daughter bond.

I asked God why He placed me in a mothering role that was “less than” the role of a biological mom.

And in all of His love and patience with me, He responded to my question with one of His own.

“Why would you think this is a ‘less than’ role? I have placed you in a ‘more than’ position.”

What?

And then He reminded me of all the miracles.

I get to see God work miracles in both me and my daughters on a regular – sometimes daily – basis.

God has developed patience, self-control, peace, joy, discernment and understanding within me – in spite of tough, unwanted circumstances. Miracle. I could do none of this without God’s direct involvement, so we’re tight. We talk often. In the “pray without ceasing” fashion.

I appreciate the smallest, everyday occurrence that most “normal” moms would take for granted.

  • By the time my oldest daughter Kaitlyn, was 5½ weeks old, I was her third “mom.” I was preceded by her birth mom and her foster mom. At such a young age, she’d already learned mothers abandon their babies. She didn’t want anything to do with me. At age 10, after about a year of counseling, she demonstrated in play therapy that she finally identified me as her protector. I felt as if I just finished a marathon. Miracle.
    • We got our youngest daughter, Meghan, when she was 9 months old. She had not been held when fed. As a result, she would jerk all about whenever I tried to hold her and give her a bottle. It took three months, but she finally drank the entire bottle, without protest, while I held her. Miracle.

 

  • Meghan first fell asleep on my lap when she was 1½ years old, nine months after she joined our family. Miracle.
  • Kaitlyn walked through the front door a few nights ago and gave me a big, long hug. Miracle. Said, “I love you.” Miracle. Then kissed me on the cheek. Enormous miracle that took my breath away!

I’ve seen a lot of miracles in my 12 ½ years as an adoptive mom and I’ve come to treasure all the “more than” moments. I also realized that I’m not the one to fill the holes in my daughters’ hearts. As their mom, I’m called to help them rely on God to be the Healer of their hearts.

What “Joy of Motherhood” experiences do you feel you’ve missed? What mom miracles do you take for granted?

Sonia Meeter has been an adoptive mom for 12½ years. She and her husband, Kevin, live in Colorado with their two daughters, an international student they’re hosting for the second school year, and their ginormous Great Dane, Jake. Sonia is also a Business & Life Coaching Consultant for financial advisors. 

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Growing Up In A Not Normal Family by Melody Durant

26 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by Catherine West in Life, Writing

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Adoption, Adoptive Parents, National Adoption Awareness Month

I always thought if I had fooled around in high school or college I would have gotten pregnant with twins BUT I waited till marriage, and found out what a struggle it would be to actually conceive!  5 ½ months later, I took on preeclampsia which led to toxemia, and our daughter arrived  2 ½ months early, weighing in at a whopping  1lb 9 oz!  Sarah Beth passed away 7 months later.  A year later our doctor explained that we shouldn’t try again because of my health, but we gave the matter to the Lord to take care of.  We wanted a baseball team, the doctor said ‘no more than a tennis match.’  The matter was settled when my body didn’t cooperate and a hysterectomy was performed.

The very day our Sarah Beth went to heaven, our son Matthew was born, though we didn’t know it until a year and a half later when we adopted him and his 2 ½ year old sister Abigail.  Two years later we added to our family again with Brice, who was almost three.  My husband was a Social Worker and played Santa Clause for the foster care parties.  Guess who he held at two weeks old?  Our boy Brice!  Not long after, the local news station asked to do a feature on our family for National Adoption Month, and Brice’s foster family came over to bring gifts to all our kids.  Wouldn’t you know it – they had more foster kids with him, with a teenage girl that we fell in love with!  By May she was ours and our family was complete with boys that were 7 and 8 along with 9 and 14 year old girls.

All of our children came through Child Welfare, from abusive homes where the parents’ rights were terminated.  I can remember reading in college  ‘that moving the child to the right environment will cancel out the previous negative influences.’  Maybe temporarily but not permanently.  Our son Matt was diagnosed with ADHD in Kindergarten by a reputable children’s hospital and we all rejoiced when the SIT DOWN MEDICINE  allowed him to be Student of the Week and to sit for supper!  While ADHD could explain some things it didn’t cover the lack of remorse, rage and anger, violence towards me and more…and he was only 8 years old!  (We knew that his biological father had fractured Matt’s skull as an infant.)  Several years later we had a word for it – ATTACHMENT DISORDER!  What a relief to know that it wasn’t in my head.  The day I broke my hand protecting myself from him, my husband’s response had been…’it’s hard to believe an adult cannot control a child.’  ‘A sorry you had a bad day’ was actually all I wanted to hear. Once the diagnosis was made, it was out of our hands and we needed to learn how to help him overcome these impulsive actions.

The one thing I was concerned with was that our other children would grow up thinking that yelling, door bashing, cursing, locking our bedroom doors, exhibiting indescribable behavior in public was NORMAL!  The hospitals said he was on too many meds but months later when we took him home, they had him back on the same dosage.  He is now 25 and has spent the last five years in prison with three left to go.  My impulsive son is also handsome, creative, smart, and loving…as an adult, but as a child the family went through hell.  In making this brief the majority of Attachment Disorder with ADHD has been limited.  To those never experiencing this – you might think I’m crazy!  To those who HAVE gone through this, you’re probably thinking….someone understands.

All of my children have struggled with issues of genetic nature, from Marfan Syndrome, to depression, sexual immorality and more.  We have always taught our kids that they are responsible for their behavior, that we all can choose right OR wrong.  Despite the world you entered into, we all have the Lord to rely on.  My husband and I love our kids NO MATTER WHAT (our family tag line) and wouldn’t trade them for anything.

In the adoption aspect and from your experience, how has environment played out in removing your child from one situation to the permanent one in your home?


   About Melody
– Within 20 years of serving as a     preachers wife, mom to 4 kids, and teaching Home Economics within the school system and 4-H, God moved my husband and I into the mission ministry.  Eight years later we continue to work in Mexico and Nicaragua, leading in American teams or working one on one…sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ with the lost.  

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It Isn’t Always “Happily Ever After” by Marlayne Giron

15 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by Catherine West in Blogging, Life, Writing

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Adoption, Adoptive Parents, National Adoption Awareness Month

Like many other women in their early 30s I have experienced the emotional pain, envy and agony of being unable to conceive. Our only means of adopting was through the county and all I had heard were horror stories. I was terrified to go this route but my husband wanted to be a “daddy”. He came from a large, close-knit family and adored his father and this was the only way us to have a family. I couldn’t bear the thought of denying him, so with much fear, I took a giant leap of faith forward.

We went to the county adoptions orientation meeting and were told the basics, horrified by the questionnaire: 1) Are you willing to adopt a child that is the product of a son and his mother? Father and daughter? Brother and Sister? I had read the book “When Love is Not Enough” about kids with reactive nonattachment disorder and how some of them killed the family pet, or threatened the good intentioned parents with knives and homicide. I didn’t feel equipped to deal with any of it so I answered truthfully as I could and we set down to wait for what was supposed to be a year’s wait to be “matched”.

The next month we got a call asking if we were willing to be foster/adopt parents. A little 3-1/2 year old girl was available. She had been pre-adoptively placed with another family which hadn’t worked out and they had subsequently given her “back” to the county. Now they wanted to find another family for her before Christmas; preferably a family with no other kids where one parent was Hispanic like us.

We agreed to meet and see her file and the next thing I knew I was in Orangewood, meeting a tiny little thing with dimples weighing all of 25lbs. She came out crying in the main room as if to say “Now what am I going to be put through?” My husband didn’t know what to do so I got down on the floor and put her on my lap and we got to know each other a little. From the moment we met her we were committed. We shuttled back and forth for the next week, taking her out on day excursions to see Santa Claus, getting her some clothes and finally for her first sleepover. Christmas Eve she came home with us for good. She came to our home with very little belongings. No toys, hardly any clothes, just a little quilt that she has to this day.

Two weeks later we introduced her as THE surprise at our family Christmas get together. By this time I had already noticed things that seemed odd: she wouldn’t cuddle, wasn’t excited to get new things and didn’t hardly cry at all; thereby depriving me of any opportunity to comfort her.

For the first month, our daughter called me by my first name (I didn’t feel like I had earned the mommy title) but she immediately addressed my husband as daddy. He was in seventh heaven and had “fallen in love” instantly with his new daughter. When I came to pick her up from grandma’s after work she would hide from me. When I dropped her off at preschool she didn’t care or cling. I was still a stranger to her. After nine months and a home study we officially adopted her at age 4.

As she got older and went on sleep-overs she would tell us how she wished she hadn’t had to return.I ceased hoping for any kind of greeting, hug or affection. Instead I would find myself steeling my heart against rejection. There were many times my daughter would monopolize my husband’s attention when the three of us were alone together and I would see her looking over her shoulder at me with a smirk of triumph as she steered him away from me.

Motherhood was not what I expected at all. Instead of feeling wanted and needed I increasingly found myself feeling hurt and unneeded. Her overall rejection of me as her mother was a very sensitive trigger; dredging up all my old buried feelings of rejection from my own childhood. She told me that she liked making me angry… and she was good at it.
The more I got blamed for our lousy relationship the more I emotionally retreated. My husband was always the good guy and I was the mean disciplinarian. Finally I just learned to completely back off just to keep peace in our home and my marriage together.

Our daughter is now 18 years old now and despite all my fears has graduated high school and is attending a community college and working part-time. She has grown up to be basically a good girl but we don’t have what I would consider an emotional relationship. Because of her nonattachment disorder I worry about her not being able to have deep, emotionally intimate relationships with others (especially a future husband). I hope and pray that one day her heart will heal at feeling abandoned by her birth parents and she will be able to have healthy emotional relationships…perhaps even with me.

Marlayne Giron is a Messianic Jew, wife and mother living in Orange County, California. She has been married to her husband Michael since 1986 and is the mom of a lovely daughter.

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A Heart, Not an Outcome by Amanda Dykes

13 Tuesday Nov 2012

Posted by Catherine West in Blogging, Life, Writing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Adoption, Adoptive Parents, Amanda Dykes, God, Life, National Adoption Awareness Month

Adoption can be a road etched with uncertainty for everyone involved. At every turn, hearts are on the line, and at every turn is a chance to take another step, to trust a little more, to love.
For my own story, I was on the adopting end. My husband and I knew going into it that nothing was guaranteed. We knew that adoption is just as uncertain as pregnancy, that minds can change, circumstances can change. But somewhere along the way, God began to show us: Whether our adoption road led us to an adoption or not, He’d placed us there for a reason.
We had to change our perspective to see things the way He did: He placed us there to serve someone, to come alongside a birthmom, to pray for her, to offer true and heartfelt love to her. Whether she changed her mind about the adoption or not, we were there for a reason.
Since that time, I’ve come to see that this applies to so very, very many different things in life. Whether you have been touched by adoption personally or not, I would be willing to guess that you have found yourself in a situation where the outcome was uncertain.

Can I offer that little bit of truth today as a seed of encouragement? Whatever it is you’re facing, whatever fragile hope, rest in His calling. If He has placed you there, it will not be in vain. That doesn’t necessarily mean it will end up the way you hope it will, but we can rest that no matter the outcome, when we obey Him, we are successful through Heaven’s lens. Even if we “fail” by the world’s standards, if we’ve listened to Him, put our hearts on the line when He’s asked us to, we have honored Him… and hopefully touched others, as well.
And what’s more, the God who called us to that place desires to give exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything we ask or imagine (see Ephesians 3:20). So while heartache may or may not be a part of your journey right now, just know that your Heavenly Father will, when we trust enough to wait and let Him, work all things together for the good of those who love Him (see Romans 8:28).
Recently, when we were in the midst of such a time, I heard this song on the radio written by Matt Hammitt for his baby, born with a severe congenital heart defect.
He tells his story here (bring the tissue, there will be tears…):

Matt Hammitt – Story Behind "All Of Me" by MattHammitt-Official

The song brought me to tears in my car, and I was again confronted with my heart’s struggle: Am I willing to put my heart on the line? Am I willing to obey, to travel this road, even if my own heart breaks?
Here’s the song:

In the places of the unknown, the unsure, the fragile… we have a rock to stand on. We have the promise of a Healer who will cradle us if we do break… a healer who was willing to give all for us. Take heart, friend, and take the next step. He has a purpose for you where you are.

Let’s discuss: Can you share a time in your life when God asked you to place your heart on the line, to walk in faith, to trust regardless of the outcome? I am so encouraged by such stories and would love to hear yours here.

Amanda Dykes is a storyteller who aches to share God’s grace. She is co-host of the Christian Fiction Book Club and would love to connect with you at www.AmandaDykes.blogspot.com

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Are You Ready To Adopt? by Christine Field

06 Tuesday Nov 2012

Posted by Catherine West in Blogging, Life

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Adoption, Adoptive Parents, Christine Field, National Adoption Awareness Month, Ready To Adopt?

 

Some couples take years to reach this decision point.  Some agonize over it.  For others, it flows naturally.  But when the pain of infertility or miscarriage begins to fade and you refuse to let the sun go down on your longing to be a parent – then you are ready to consider adoption. 

Our journey began after minimal infertility testing and a miscarriage.  Two weeks after the miscarriage we had the pleasure to adopt our first child, a 3-day-old baby girl.  Our bliss was realized.  Surely God could not bless us again so abundantly!

A few months later, I became pregnant and our second daughter was born 17 months after to first.  Up to my knees in diapers, bottles and Cheerios I completely enjoyed my girls.

As I approached 40, a cut-off age for many adoptions, I got the hankering for another child.  This time we turned to Korea and about one year after application, we picked up our 5-month-old baby girl from the airport.  In later years when the kids would ask where babies came from they were convinced they ALL came from the airport.

At the ripe age of 42, my husband indulged my longing for a son.  This was the last year our ages would qualify us for the program.  We forged ahead and soon our son joined our family, also at 5-months-of-age.  At last our family was complete.

We stumbled the days of colic, formula changes, and sheer crowd control, but survived it with grace and lots of love.

The challenges began as the kids got older.  We’ve dealt with many, if not most, of the possible labels:  ADD, ADHD, LD, ODD, bi-polar – E-I-E-I-O.  Learning from each challenge we grew stronger and greater in love.

The first two teens challenged us tremendously with an early, ill-advised marriage for one and the other launching off into the world to have some adventures.  All while I stayed home and dealt with the learning and attention issues and nursed my husband back to health after cancer.

I am happy to say both the older girls are back home and are back on track with school and jobs.  The oldest has even blessed us with a 3 year old grandson who is the delight of our lives.

Still standing through the storms, we are Clare, age 23 with a 3 year old son; Caitlin, age  21; Grace, age 18; and Daniel, age 15.  Our days are full and sometimes stressful but we love each other madly and deeply.  The Lord has redeemed the earlier times of pain and separation because He is a God of restoration.  Praise the Lord!

In honor of National Adoption Month, I would like to offer an e-book version of a book I published a while ago called Should You Adopt?  I have updated it with current information and contacts.  My prayer is that you will be blessed and guided through your own journey. Please leave your email with your comment if you would like a copy. 

Blessings and Peace,

Christine Field

What about you? Have you considered adoption? 

 Christine is a mother of four whose passions are Loving the Lord, Loving her Family, Writing, and the Law.  She is the author of numerous books and ebooks. Currently, she serves as an attorney for the National Center for Life and Liberty (www.NCLL.org).  To read more about her or her books, go towww.realmomlife.com.

 

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November is National Adoption Awareness Month!

01 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by Catherine West in Life, Reading, Writing

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Adoptees, Adoption, Adoptive Parents, Birth Mothers, Catherine West, Faith, Hidden in the Heart, National Adoption Awareness Month

Welcome!
This month, in honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, I’m thrilled to be devoting my blog to all those affected by adoption in some way. I put out the call some time ago, and have received wonderful posts from adoptive parents, adoptees, and birth mothers. I can’t wait to share them with you! There are some days when I did not receive a post, so I will pose a question from the Discussion Questions at the back of Hidden in the Heart, and perhaps we can talk about it. Feel free to ask me questions too. It has been great to have so much discussion about a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

We will begin our journey on Saturday, with a post by my friend and author, Christine Lindsay, who is a reunited birth mother. Fridays will carry on as normal with Friday Featured Authors, and tomorrow Gail Sattler will be my guest.

Last week, I had Katie Ganshert as my guest, talking about her journey as a prospective adoptive parent, and giving away a copy of her novel, Wildflowers from Winter. The winner is:

Sonia Meteer! 
Congratulations, Sonia. I know you’ll enjoy it!

I hope you’ll join me this month in sharing our thoughts on adoption. I think some things may surprise you. As I am learning from reader responses to Hidden in the Heart, not everyone sees things the same way. And that’s okay. God made us all differently, with the right to our own opinions. But I do ask that if you wish to respond to a post that you may not agree with, please do so in love. I reserve the right to remove any comments that may be perceived as hurtful to someone else. 

Today’s Question:

Psalm 139; 13-16 is quoted at the beginning of the book. What does this verse mean to you? How might it practically affect the way you see others? Yourself? God? The world around you? The subject of adoption?

For you created my inmost being; 

you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

your works are wonderful, 

I know that full well. 

My frame was not hidden from you 

when I was made in the secret place, 

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

all the days ordained for me were written in your book 

before one of them came to be. 

—PSALM 139: 13-16 

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Should We Adopt?

03 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by Catherine West in Blogging, Life, Writing

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

Adopted Child, Adoption, Adoptive Parents, Catherine West, Hidden in the Heart, International Adoption, October Baby

Life is interesting.

When I set out to write Hidden in the Heart, I’ll be honest, it was mostly for myself. I needed to write that story, and once the characters took life and started on their own journeys, I was pretty excited.

And here I am, three weeks out from the book’s release, and I’m a little scared. Still excited, because I see where this is leading, but it’s scary.

I’ve already had a couple of letters from readers who want to know about adoption. The thing is, I’m not an expert. I’m happy to share my own experiences, but that’s exactly what they are. My own. And you’ll find the same in Hidden in the Heart – what Claire goes through is pretty similar to what I went through. But no two lives are the same. I want to be clear on that. My experience may not even come close to somebody else’s. Many adoptees never have the desire to search. But I did.

So while I encourage questions and dialogue and promise to answer as honestly as I can, please keep in mind that I am just one person, and I cannot and do not speak for all.

That said,  here’s a recent question from a reader considering adoption –

… Having been adopted yourself, is there any advice as a parent that you can give me before I start this journey?  

This reader also indicated that, based on my story, she had concerns that growing up adopted might be hard on the child.
Yes, for me, it was hard. But I would never discourage anyone from adopting and I would never say adoption is a bad thing. It’s not. It can be a beautiful thing. As long as the parents approach it from the right direction, with the right heart.
What I’m about to say is probably going to ruffle some feathers. But I’m being honest, so I pray you’ll allow me to say this as kindly as I can without jumping down my throat.
My biggest concern with adoption in our present culture is that it’s become the ‘in thing’.
Celebrities are doing it. Politicians are doing it. Christians from every denomination are doing it. We’ve gone from nobody talking about it to everybody talking about. I’m not sure which is the lesser of the two evils.
There are many types of adoption today. International adoption. Open Adoption. Even Adult Adoptions, and I’m not even going to address that one…but let’s talk about a few things you might encounter as adoptive parents.
Probably the first thing you’re going to need to address as your child gets older is physical appearance. Are you planning to adopt at home or abroad? Okay, I’ll be blunt, will your kid look like you or not?
Oh, that’s not important. 
No, it’s not. Maybe not to you. But if your child is the only black or Asian child for miles around, it’s bound to come up.
I was raised in your typical WASP family, but I knew I didn’t look like my parents. At first glance of course you couldn’t tell. But if you ever stopped to examine our physical features, eye color…you’d know. If you think kids don’t notice these things, think again.
Obviously if you’re adopting a child of a different race, they’re going to figure out pretty quickly that they didn’t come from you. You’ll need to know well in advance how you plan to handle this. You’re also probably not going to have a lot of information to give your child when the time comes and they want to know where they came from. That’s going to be hard.
Regardless of how loving a home you provide, growing up adopted makes a child different. They know it. They feel it. And somehow they learn to live with it. No matter the circumstances of the relinquishment, there may always be an underlying sense of abandonment. Rejection. Being the child nobody wanted.
As parents, you can explain it as best you can, put a pretty bow on it and tell them how much you love them, how blessed you all were that God brought you together, and while all that may be true, you cannot change the fact that for whatever reason, your child’s biological parents were unwilling or unable to keep them.
If I could explain this in scientific, psychological terms that actually make sense, I would. But I can’t. I can only say that for me, that’s how I felt. I knew my parents loved me. I had the best childhood, I was loved, loved, loved…but the whispers in the night still came. I still dealt with irrational fears that my parents would leave and not come back. I had low-self esteem. Trust issues. Angry outbursts that came out of left field. Okay, so maybe none of this has anything to do with being adopted. Maybe I’m just nuts. Fair enough. 🙂 But once I decided to address these issues, I started reading books on adoption. I talked to other adoptees. And guess what? I wasn’t so nuts after all.
When an adopted child wants to know ‘where they really came from,’ please know that it is in no way a reflection on the way you’ve raised or are raising your child. If they trust you enough to ask, be as honest as you can, and know you’re still Mom and Dad. That won’t change.
 Educate yourself. If you are considering or planning on adopting, do your homework. Don’t just read books on parenting. Talk to grown up adoptees. Ask questions. Seek out other adoptive parents and ask them the tough questions. Most of all, be willing and prepared to talk to your child at any time about their adoption. Let the conversation flow naturally. Things are very different today than they were when I grew up. You have the resources, the information and the ability to choose when and how to use it.
I was able to process my feelings, to put the pieces of my childhood puzzle together in a way that made sense, and at the end of it all, while I had answers, ultimately my peace came in knowing who I am in Christ. If you plan to raise your child in a Christian home, that should be your ultimate prayer for them. (Adopted or not).
I have the utmost respect for anyone who accepts the call of becoming an adoptive parent. As I’ve said, maybe your journey will be different. Maybe your child won’t ever experience any of the things I’ve talked about. Maybe you’ll contact me in twenty years and tell me I was wrong. But it never hurts to be prepared. Raising children in these present times is challenging enough as is.
With all that said, and I know I’ve said a lot, at the end of the day, I feel blessed to have been adopted. I recently watched the movie October Baby. One of the last lines in that movie stuck. As Hannah heads off to college, she runs back to her father and hugs him, and says, “Thank you. Thank you for wanting me.”
That’s what it’s all about.
What do you think? Agree, disagree? Let’s talk. 

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A New Plan And A Purpose

01 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by Catherine West in Blogging, Life, Uncategorized

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Adoption, Adoption Triad, Adoptive Parents, Birth Parents, Catherine West, Hidden in the Heart, Platform

You’ll notice I’ve given my blog a new name.

This Is A Blog About Books…And Life.

For years, I never talked about the fact that I was adopted. I was born in the ’60’s, and yep, that’s my mom holding me outside the hospital on the day my parents took me home. Back then things were simple, black and white. You didn’t talk about things you didn’t understand. You didn’t try to understand them, you just accepted them for what they were and moved on. People didn’t have their shrinks on speed-dial and the only talk show on television was the nightly news.

So the topic never really came up. I always knew I was adopted, it wasn’t a secret, but it wasn’t something I openly shared. I didn’t want to be different. There was a certain stigma attached to the status, and to be honest, I hated it. It was the proverbial elephant in the room, and for the most part, I stepped around it and pretended it didn’t exist.

Eleven days from today, I will celebrate the day of my birth. And as I do every year, I will remember the woman who gave me life, I will thank God for the parents who wanted me and took me home, and I will find peace in knowing that my life was planned before I took my first breath.

I am adopted.

I’m talking about it.

It’s time.

I have faced my fears, dealt with my feelings and have tried to process the vast-ranging emotions that being an adoptee has to deal with the best I can. And I’ve discovered I am not alone.

I was told recently that one in three people are touched by adoption in some way. I believe it.

Since the launch of my book, Hidden in the Heart, I’ve talked to many people who are part of the adoption triad (adoptee, birth mother, adoptive parents). I believe this journey is only just beginning. Today, I sit here with a new plan. A new platform. A new purpose.

I wasn’t sure why God wanted me to write Hidden in the Heart. In some way, I suppose I figured it was necessary for my own journey to healing and wholeness. While I don’t discount that, I’m starting to see that it’s probably going to be more than that. I’m starting to see that adoption is still a subject that a lot of people don’t discuss, and I’m hoping to change that. I want to talk about it. I need to talk about it. And I don’t think I’m the only one.

And so I’m stepping out onto a new path. Embarking on a new journey. I’d love for you to keep me company.

Let’s talk – Have you been touched by adoption in some way? Do you want to talk about it? 

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Life speeds along and we do our best to catch up. Some days its hard to take a breath, let alone form a sentence that makes sense. Is anybody listening anyway? You might be surprised. The words matter. All of them.

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