Full Disclosure

Tags

Books, Christianity, Faith, Life, Truth

Happy Monday, friends. Not sure why we say that, really, since most folks I know aren’t all that jacked about Mondays. Me included. But hey, maybe it helps the motivation pick up a little speed, who knows. Positive thinking is always a good thing, right?

So, April 2017. Which means I have survived the release of my second novel, The Memory of You, through Harper Collins Christian Publishing. Whew. What a ride. Can I just say again that a few years ago you could have knocked me over with that proverbial feather if you’d told me I’d actually be published by one of the Big 5.

But here we are, with the books and the smile on my face to prove it. I won’t bore you with a photo of my smiling face, because it’s at this point in a book’s release that I get a little tired of looking at myself and reading about myself and hearing myself . . . not saying you will, I hope you don’t, because that wouldn’t sell me any books, would it, but I need a little breather from the buzz. But here’s the first bookstore sighting, taken over the weekend by my son in Boston!

Here’s what I want to talk about today – 

Full disclosure.

Interesting term, don’t you think? I like it. It says to me, hey, I’m telling you this because I want to be honest with you. I want you to know the truth.

I had an interesting thing happen last week. I got this email. From a reader who’d picked up my novel, The Things We Knew. And she was kinda annoyed. Because she didn’t know it was a “Christian” novel. Didn’t know there would be references to God and Jesus and maybe even the Bible on occasion. And she. Was. Not. Happy.

Okay, so I got over the email. I have to admit, full disclosure and all, those things sting. Nasty reviews are one thing, you know, the hold nothing back I’m coming at you with a pitchfork kind – yeah those little suckers sting too. But for the most part, I think there’s a little cuckoo crazy in those reviewers that’s not too hard to pick up on. But when a reader goes out of their way to send an email, a rather lengthly detailed description of all the things they hated about the book . . . suck town.

I know, I know. Don’t take it personally. It’s not about me, it’s about them. I’ve taken all the advice from my fellow author friends and agent to heart. Advice from my kids was appreciated as well, but probably not the best way to respond . . . though I loved them for it. 🙂 And no, I didn’t reply to this person, because sometimes there is no need for a personal response to that kind of emotional attack. Because here’s the thing.

With each book I write, I pray for the words, and I pray that once those words are out in the world, God takes them where they need to go. So I believe that particular pissed off reader had my book for a reason. I don’t need to know the rest of the story. But something in that email got me a little twitchy, so I want to tell you what it was.

Full disclosure. 

This reader accused me of not being honest about my faith. She was ‘deceived’ she said, because she hadn’t intended to buy a book that delved into spiritual matters. Or specifically, those of a Christian leaning. Okay, fair enough.

I could point out that my books are currently listed on Amazon under the Women’s Fiction – Christian, and Fiction -Religious and Inspirational, categories. I could also point out the name of my publisher is Harper Collins Christian Publishing. But I also know that my books are cross-marketed to reach not only readers in the Christian market, but those in the general market as well. I know that right now my books are sitting on the Fiction/Literature shelf in Barnes & Noble in Boston. And I’m not going to apologize for that. It’s one of the many things I love about my publisher.

I don’t have to compromise. 

I am a Christian and I write from a Christian worldview. Which means that at some point in any one of my books, you will encounter some brush with faith, be it through a believing character or as subtle as the dawn rising over the tree tops after death. I infuse my beliefs into my writing because it’s who I am. And I don’t believe those stories would be the same without that.

Some of my characters have a strong faith. Some have very little. Some have major doubts. Some have no faith at all. Bet you know a few of all of those kinda folk, don’t you? So yes, you will find faith in my stories. You will also find hope. Mercy. Grace. Forgiveness. All those necessary but hardest thing we’ve ever done things . . . all the stuff of life. That’s what I write about. The ugly, the messy, the crazy, the unconscionable. Because come alongside that with some truth and love and opportunity for healing . . . and I think you’ve got yourself the makings of a truly good book. Life is hard. Life changes us. For better or for worse.

And reading about the hard stuff, that’s not for everybody. I get that. I appreciate that. If you decide my books aren’t for you, well, that’s your choice and I respect it. But I don’t ever want to be accused of trying to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. Trying to peddle a product disguised as something they don’t really want.

I’m not whomping anyone over the head with bible verses or profusely praying characters. I’m not saying you have to believe the same things I do or identify with any of my characters. I’m just telling you what you might encounter. In the spirit of full disclosure. You will find God in the midst of every book that has my name on it. You may not even know it, but He’s there. Because the stories all come from Him first, the greatest Author of all.

Just wanted you to know.

Friday Fun Chats With Friends!

Tags

Authors, Book Blogger, Books, Christian Fiction

WOO!! Here we go! I had so much fun talking with Carried Schmidt. We’re kind of new friends, we met online last year after she reviewed The Things We Knew and she was so amazingly gracious – we started chatting and got to know each other, and here we are, and OH yes, we got to meet in person this past summer in Nashville!!

if you don’t know Carrie, you’re going to love her, trust me. And you have to check out her blog right away for all the latest about our favorite subject – BOOKS!! Reading Is My Superpower is a great resource for readers and authors alike! Due to technical glitches, I’ve had to split our chat into a few sections, but I hope you enjoy getting to know Carrie today!

And here I thought Carrie had been blogging for years! She’s so good at it! And you guys, wait until you hear how many books this woman reads in a year!! But that’s coming up. Now we’re going to find out a little more about the kinds of books Carrie loves the most, and I’m going to ask her a tough question. 🙂

Well that was too much fun! Don’t forget, readers, go check out the Christian Fiction Readers Retreat website, and sign up for this year’s retreat!!

Okay, let’s see, what else can we talk about? Oh, I know, how about more books? Or we could just . . . chat.

OH!! Our connection cut out again!! The suspense is killing me! What’s your favorite book, Carrie??!!

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely looking forward to talking to Carrie again! (Will you come back, Carrie, or did I scare you away forever?!)

If you have any questions for us about books, writing or our amazing pooches, please leave a comment and keep the conversation going!

Thanks for participating in my very first Friday Fun Chat, Carrie, and thanks to all of YOU for watching!!

So let’s see, anyone out there beat Carrie’s record for books read in a year?

A Christmas Giveaway!

Tags

Authors, Books, Catherine West, Christian Fiction, Christmas, Giveaway, The Things We Knew

I’m thrilled to be participating in the 12 Authors of Christmas Giveaway, going on all this week!! We have a bunch of amazing authors here, so don’t miss out, and please tell your friends!

Now who doesn’t want CASH AND BOOKS at Christmas??? I don’t know about you, but I sure wouldn’t mind! 🙂

Here’s the LINK to ENTER! Just head on over and follow the instructions and that’s all there is to it!

https://promosimple.com/ps/a91e

Just our way of saying THANK YOU to our FABULOUS READERS!!

Merry Christmas!!

Life Is Good!!

Tags

Author, Book Launch, Books, Giveaways, Prizes

Well, I’ve just spent a fun week with my sister! It was great to just hang out and talk and laugh. Best of all, she was able to celebrate a very special delivery that arrived yesterday!

My author copies of The Things We Knew!!! A few tears may have been shed by yours truly. My first stop after picking up this lovely box of books was to my dad. He always gets the first copy, and he was pleased as punch!

And then it was home to celebrate with the rest of the family, with champagne and dinner out!

The next few weeks will be very busy as we prepare for the official release on July 12th. I’d love for you to sign up for the launch party on Facebook – that’ll be July 14th and will be lots of fun, with special guests and giveaways and lots of book chatter! We’re also having a GOODREADS GIVEAWAY, (going on now!) so you can enter to win a copy of The Things We Knew there!

Meanwhile, here’s one more thing to keep you busy until the book comes out!

Feel free to share all these great promotions, and I hope when you read The Things We Knew, you’ll let me know how you liked it!

Happy Holiday Weekend!

Christian Fiction Scavenger Hunt Stop#11

Tags

Author, Books, Christian Fiction, Lori Benton, Reading

THE HUNT IS OVER! THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR PLAYING! I WILL ANNOUNCE MY WINNER TOMORROW – APRIL 27TH! 

Welcome to the Christian Fiction Scavenger Hunt! If you’ve just discovered the hunt, be sure to start at Stop #1, and collect the clues through all 33 stops, in order, so you can enter to win one of our top 3 grand prizes!

• The hunt BEGINS with Stop #1 at Lisa Bergren’s site.
• The hunt is BEST VIEWED using Chrome or Firefox as your browser (not Explorer)
• It is open to INTERNATIONAL entrants.
• PRIZES include 3 sets of all 32 books, $500 in Amazon gift cards and many authors are offering additional prizes!
• There is NO RUSH to complete this hunt—you have ALL WEEKEND. So take your time, reading the unique posts along the way; our hope is that you discover new authors/new books you might want to learn more about!
• Submit your ENTRY for the GRAND PRIZE at Stop #33 (back on Lisa’s site) by Monday night (4/25) at midnight mountain.

I’m thrilled to hosting author Lori Benton! I’m a big fan of Lori’s writing and if you haven’t discovered her yet, she writes amazing historical fiction! Her latest book, A Flight of Arrows, Book #2 in The Pathfinder Series, sounds wonderful and I can’t wait to read it.

 

Hearts are Divided 
Loyalties Will Be Tested
The Fates of Two Families Hang in the Balance

Twenty years past, in 1757, a young Redcoat, Reginald Aubrey stole a newborn boy—the lighter-skinned of Oneida twins— during the devastating fall of Fort William Henry and raised him as his own.

No one connected to Reginald escaped unscathed from this crime. Not his adopted daughter Anna. Not Stone Thrower, the Native American father determined to get his son back. Not Two Hawks, William’s twin brother separated since birth, living in the shadow of his absence and hoping to build a future with Anna. Nor Lydia, who longs for Reginald to be free from his self-imposed emotional prison and embrace God’s forgiveness— and her love.

Now William, whose identity has been shattered after discovering the truth of his birth, hides in the ranks of an increasingly aggressive British army. The Redcoats prepare to attack frontier New York and the Continentals, aided by Oneida warriors including Two Hawks, rally to defend it. As the Revolutionary War penetrates the Mohawk Valley, two families separated by culture, united by love and faith, must find a way to reclaim the son marching toward them in the ranks of their enemies.

Lori is here today to talk about 18th Century World Building! 

(Photo cred: Harvey Barrison, Wikimedia commons).

18th Century World Building World building—it’s a term most often associated with fantasy writers, those who create story settings like Narnia or Middle Earth, complete with people groups and their histories, legends, songs, and languages. But readers may have noticed that I’m doing something similar with my historical novels. I’m telling stories lifted from the same fictional 18th century world—one that exists in my crowded, character-teeming brain—so there’s every chance that a character or two from one book will, at some future date, wander into the pages of another book. That’s my intention with every novel I write.

I actually do this more than my four published novels (to date) might indicate, but occasionally those scenes featuring familiar characters from previous books are cut during the editing process. As a matter of fact, I’d worked more characters readers of Burning Sky would have recognized into A Flight of Arrows, my latest release, than presently inhabit the final pages. Alas, those characters didn’t play a significant enough role in the story to warrant inclusion in the final version of a novel already jam-packed with characters. But they’re still part of the story in my mind and you can find that deleted scene on my website.

For those interested in how these story worlds set on the 18th century frontier intersect, I’ve begun a Crossover Character List. It’s short for now but—God willing—it will grow!

Crossover Characters

Joseph Tames-His-Horse (Mohawk warrior): first appeared in Burning Sky. Has a small role in The Wood’s Edge, a bigger role in A Flight of Arrows. Daniel Clear-Day (Oneida warrior/elder): first appeared in a small role in Burning Sky, plays a much larger role in The Wood’s Edge and A Flight of Arrows.

Characters from my published books I know more about (and might someday get to share): The Pursuit of Tamsen Littlejohn: Cade, Jesse Bird, Ambrose Kincaid, Blackbird, Thunder-Going-Away, Charlie Spencer, Seth Trimble, Bethany Allard

Burning Sky: Neil MacGregor, Willa Obenchain, Matthew/Owl, Maggie/Pine Bird, Joseph Tames-His-Horse The Pathfinders series: pretty much everyone!

Well, we’ll look forward to it, Lori!

 

Lori Benton was raised east of the Appalachian Mountains, where she was surrounded by three hundred years of American history and now her novels transport readers to the eighteenth century, where she brings to life the Colonial and early Federal periods of our nation’s history. She is the multiple award-winning author of numerous books including Burning Sky, The Pursuit of Tamsen Littlejohn, and both books in The Pathfinders series (The Wood’s Edge and A Flight of Arrows). Connect with her on her website LoriBenton.blogspot.com or on Facebook (Author Lori Benton).

 

Here’s the Stop #11 Skinny:

You can order Lori’s book on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, CBD , Waterbrook, or at your local bookstore!

Clue to Write Down: surface

Link to Stop #12, the Next Stop on the Loop: Lori Benton’s own site!

***

But wait! Before you go, I’m offering one book, winner’s choice, in e-format or paperback – Yesterday’s Tomorrow, Hidden in the Heart or Bridge of Faith. All you have to do is sign up to get my e-newsletter or note that you’re already a subscriber and like my Author Page on Facebook! You can read about the books on my Amazon Author page and decide which you’d like!

The winner will be announced on April 27^th!

Thanks for stopping by! Enjoy the rest of the hunt and don’t forget to enter, by filling out the Rafflecopter form on Lisa’s page – Stop #33!

Happy Reading!

 

COMING SOON! Cover Reveal & An Invite!

Tags

Author News, New Release, News

I’m delighted to announce that I will be releasing my next novel this spring!

(Cover by Yvonne Parks @ Pear Creative).

Two lives taken down different roads – one enduring love – one shot at starting over.

                               If only they believed in second chances.

 Julia Connelly is finally free from twelve long years in an abusive relationship. Now able to live the life she’s longed for, Julia takes her two children back home to Vermont, hoping for peace and healing. The last person she expects to see is the man she eloped with at eighteen—who then abandoned her two months into their marriage, with little explanation.

When an assignment in the Middle East ends in tragedy, popular news correspondent, Reid Wallace, returns to his hometown seeking answers and peace of mind.

Confronting his past was not in the plan.

Now he’s asking different questions. Like why the only woman he’s ever really loved still mesmerizes him. Why the haunted expression she wears reaches right into his soul.

                       And why her twelve year-old son looks just like him.

They say you can’t go home again. Sometimes you don’t have a choice.

 

OKAY, so that’s the gist!! I’m super excited and I hope you are too!! With every new release, I realize just how important my readers are. So now’s the time for me to reach out and invite YOU to JOIN my Promotional Team. If you think this might be something you’re interested in, and you’d like more information, simply either leave your email in the comments here or send me an email at catherine@catherinejwest.com, and I’d be happy to send you everything you need to know, then you can decide whether you’d like to sign up!

Thanks so much for your support, and I hope this explains my lack of blogs of late. Actually, it’s that and me avoiding the whole 50 Shades debacle. Because I have too much to say … 🙂

Happy Weekend!

 

Once I Wrote A Book…Then I Wrote It Again…

Tags

Books, Catherine West, New Book, Reading, Vietnam War, Writing, Yesterday's Tomorrow

Life. Crazy huh? Who can make sense of it?
Well, to keep a very long story short, today’s post is about sharing the happy news that my first novel, Yesterday’s Tomorrow, has been re-released and is now available for your reading pleasure on Amazon! Even after all these years, this book is still #1 in my heart. I hope you’ll read it, (if you haven’t already) and find out why. The new version is not vastly different from the first, but much improved, I think, if I do say so… 🙂 But you be the judge.

Lots of hard work has gone into this new venture and I’d like to thank some folks – first my FAMILY –

Chris, Deni, Sarah and Randy and my AMAZING husband, Stephen – you put up with the crazy and you support and encourage and kick butt when necessary. You guys are my absolute world and I love you more than words can say. And my super wonderful Dad and stepmom – you guys are simply the best!

My friends – oh my word. Where would a girl be without her friends? It would take a few pages to post pictures of all my cool and wonderful people who love me through all this nuttiness, but you know who you are!

My agent – Rachelle Gardner, for always pushing, always being there and always believing. And having the sense to connect me with awesome editors like Mick Silva…it was hard work, but you inspired me to make this an even better story, thank you! Dineen Miller – this cover is breathtaking – you rock!!

SO, here we are!

I’m doing the happy dance today! I hope you’ll join me in the celebration!

Choose Love

Tags

Choices, Faith, Hope, Love, Writing

I was sixteen the first time he said it. With his arm around me in the darkened room, my head on his shoulder, probably half asleep.

“I love you.”

Three little words that had the power to change my life. If I chose to let them.

Of course at sixteen, love was exciting. Love was roses and chocolates and romantic walks on the beach. Love was that funny little feeling in the pit of my stomach when he walked in the room and smiled my way. Love was everything I’d read about, watched on television and dreamed up in my head. Love wasn’t a choice. It just happened. Like somebody sprinkling fairy dust over us.

And so somehow we went from that heady moment to walking down the aisle to walking into a hospital to walking out with another precious life in our arms. Twice we did that.

And all the while, he said it. “I love you.”

The first time he said it, all those years ago, I wouldn’t admit that it terrified me. Still, so many  years, a lot of sleepless nights, two perfect children, some gray hair and a few unwanted pounds later, it still does. Because I’ve learned, you see, that love is a choice. You choose to love. Through the good. Through the not so good and through the hard and crazy stupid stuff. Through the times when you don’t know what to say so you say nothing. Through tears you can’t stop. Still, you love. You choose to live in those moments. To embrace this incredible wonderful life that has become yours. You choose to love. You choose to stay.

I’ve known people who give up on this thing. This love. Because it doesn’t work for them anymore, for one reason or another or a lot of reasons that pile into one big explosion and they can’t find their way through the fallout. I always wish they could find another way. A better way.

Love is a choice. Love is a gift. And sometimes its hard to take. Sometimes we feel like we don’t deserve it. I feel that. Some days I look around, look at these people who love me, these people who would do anything for me, this man who has loved me so long and still does, this family, these friends, and I wonder why…why me? How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve this?

Nothing.

Love is a gift. Freely given.

Mine. Yours.

Ours for the taking.

I’m slowly starting to believe that. Slowly starting to accept it. Eyes wide open and smiling. And the more I know of it, this love, the more I want to give back. I want to permeate my stories with it. It is why I do what I do. Why I wrestle to find just the right words. Time and time again.

It’s not always easy. Writing the happy ending thing is something I’ve taken for granted. When you’re writing fiction you can pretty much decide the fate of your characters. This time…this book…it’s been a struggle. They’re fighting me. They’re fighting this love. This choice. And I’m not sure yet which way it’s going to go. Because sometimes people make wrong choices. Sometimes they have to live with that. But I want them to make the right choice. Funny how they’ve become so real. How I’m so totally invested in this story. I so want things to turn out right.

Yet…love is a choice. And maybe they will choose another path. I don’t know yet. But I do know there is hope. Because there always is.

Scene from Winter’s Edge…

I doze for maybe an hour and then wake with a start. It’s been so long since I’ve slept in this bed. In this room I once shared with my husband. Memories hang heavy. Good ones. Bad ones. I wipe sleep from my eyes and widen them as the room comes into focus.

Kevin is curled in the lounge-chair by the window. Watching me. Or he has been. Now his eyes are closed and he’s breathing quite deeply. He’s changed into jeans and a t-shirt, his dark hair damp. It’s longer than I’ve seen him wear it. A lock curls over his forehead.

It’s been so long since we have shared this room that his presence surprises me. And I’m strangely sad about that.

After Shelby died, neither of us slept well. I’d wake at all hours, pace the house, clean, read, watch television. Kevin would get out of bed and sit in that chair. Sometimes he’d stare out the window. Sometimes he’d read. Sometimes he’d watch me sleep. I asked him once why he did that.

“Because knowing you’re there, knowing you’re okay…somehow makes me believe we’ll get through this.”

And suddenly the sight of him sitting there this morning makes me smile.

I slip out of bed, grab a blanket and tuck it around him.

My hand stills just above that errant lock of hair. I study the face I know so well, have loved so long, and wonder whether forgiveness is possible. Wonder whether I’ll ever trust him enough to let him take me in his arms again, kiss me and love me the way I remember. The way he used to when things were good…when things were…the way they’re supposed to be between a husband and wife.

Memories play with my mind and stir old feelings. Inexplicable longing surges through me and almost sends me flying from the room.

Kevin shifts in the chair and my heart jumps.

His eyes flutter open, land on me for just a moment before they close again, but a grin slides across his mouth. “Thanks, Savannah,” he mumbles, pulling the blanket up around his shoulders.

I let out my breath and find myself smiling down at him.

This man.

What he’s put me through…

But I know right now in this minute, that despite it all, he still owns my heart.

Whether I want him to or not.

And I must choose what to do with that.

© 2014 Catherine West

Objectivity

Tags

Cancer, Conversation, Faith, Hope, John Green, Life, Questioning, Reading, The Fault in Our Stars

Disclaimer – the thoughts expressed below are simply mine. Agree or disagree. And there are no spoilers here, incase you have not read the book.

It’s one of those big words that you cannot walk away from. Objectivity. To be objective. To think for oneself. To read or view something without prejudice, to form one’s own opinion on the matter.

I’m not terribly good at being objective. I don’t like to be the voice in the wilderness. I enjoy fitting in. Agreeing with people. Life’s so much easier that way, right? But I try to be objective. Try to draw my own conclusions despite knowing what others think. But sometimes I find it difficult to be objective when I’m reading something that has sparked a movement. Something that I know so many people across the globe are resonating with.

This book, for example.

I hadn’t read it. Haven’t seen the movie. I knew what it was about and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go down that road. Because I knew I’d probably like it. And I didn’t want to.

But yesterday, I started the book. And finished it at around 11pm last night. So I’m mulling. As I was reading, I felt my objectivity slipping away. I was all like, yeah, I get this. I see why this is so popular…and I did. The writing is good. There were lines that I read over a few times and truly enjoyed and sort of wished I’d written myself…and then there were parts of the story that I read and just went, Huh.

I’d been told this was a book of hope. I didn’t get that. I’m not going to go all spiritual on you and start spouting Scripture, but…for me…if you’re dying and you have no idea what lies beyond this earthly realm…where is the hope in that? Whether your faith lies in God or a statue or the big oak tree in your backyard…you’ve got to believe in something. There was a gaping hole in the story in that regard. Maybe I’m taking it too seriously. Maybe I’m nitpicking. But the only mentions of God and Jesus were seemingly in jest. And that’s unfortunate.

While I enjoyed the book, I’m not quite sure what it’s purpose is. Other than to make the author an extremely wealthy man. Yes, it was a sad story. Yes, I admit to shedding tears. Yes, it was well written. But. Is it really shedding light on kids with cancer? Helping those families who have no idea if their child will live to see their next birthday? Or has the world already stomped over that grim reality in lieu of the Hollywood version of two star-crossed lovers who look good on the big screen?

Part of me thinks that sadly, this is exactly what has happened. There seems to be a sort of cult movement involved here, and I don’t like that. On the other hand, the fact that I’m sitting here this morning pondering these things, is perhaps the point Green intended to make. Any author worth their due wants to make their reader think. Feel. Reach beyond the known and dare to ask what comes next. If he did that, then good. I’m glad.

But I think, being married to a pediatrician, having seen children with cancer, knowing the sufferings and the agony and the finality of some of those situations…I’m wary. I don’t like the hype. The glamour. The fame and fortune being made off of the portrayal of a disease that takes lives too soon. I don’t know John Green personally. From what I’ve heard, he’s doing some good in the world with the money he makes. Yet, still…and I can’t put my finger on it exactly…something just doesn’t sit right with me.

I have to conclude that there is a fault in The Fault in Our Stars. Something is lacking here.

I’m afraid I am the voice in the wilderness this morning.

And I’m okay with that.

I’d love to hear your thoughts if you’ve read the novel or seen the movie. Am I missing something here? 

So You Think You’re All That?

Tags

Patience, Perseverance, Struggle, Truth, Waiting, Writing Journey

“The world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.”

“Yes, it does.”
“No, actually, it doesn’t.”

“Yes it…wait, what?”

The problem with being a writer is simply this: We may develop the tendency to think we’re all that.

Not me, of course. I would never be so brazen as to assume the entire publishing world should come to a grinding halt and read my manuscripts RIGHT THIS SECOND BECAUSE I CAN’T STAND THIS WAITING ANYMORE!!! Yeah. Not me.

And so I wait.

Here’s the thing. I am not a patient person. True story. I also like getting what I want. Immediately. I blame my parents for that. They should have spanked me more. Or something. So here I am in this crazy profession where times moves slower than molasses running off the kitchen counter. This business where so much hinges on….what? I don’t even know. Timing? Luck? Fortitude? Brilliant writing? An editor having a good day? Maybe a combination of all those things. It’s a secret we’ll never know. Why some books are chosen and others aren’t.

I’ve ranted…um…mentioned the fact before…how some books are just not my cup of tea, yet they sell. They win awards. And I’m all like…

But really, so what? Good for those authors. Shows how much I know. Then this thought comes.

What if I simply got on with living?

Instead of worrying about what’s happening out there in that realm, that galaxy far far away…the place I have no control over…what if? I’d be less stressed, for sure. Probably be a nicer person to live with.

You know how hard this thing is. You reading this who’ve maybe just cut chapters out from your novel. Deleted pages you worked so hard to get right. You nodding your head because you get what I’m saying. You’ve been there. You might be there right now. You do it all because you want to succeed. You want that contract. You want…to be heard. To be noticed.

To be all that. 

Maybe you don’t, but sometimes I think I do. Sometimes I think if only…if only that email would come, that phone call, that long awaited “YES!”…then I could get on with things. Seriously. Somebody slap me.

See. I know it’s not true. I know that whether I am contracted or not, whether my words are printed or not, read or not, I won’t stop. These stories inside me won’t go away. It’s what I was born to do. Sure, I want to be published. Most writers do. But then, there’s the danger isn’t there, of focussing on that instead of simply enjoying the journey. That dream, goal or whatever you choose to call it, it can steal your joy. Make you forget why you’re doing what you’re doing. Why you started writing down the words in the first place. It can take away the sheer exhilaration of simply telling a story nobody else has.

Is it easy? No.

But we do it anyway. We do it because we don’t have a choice. Sure, I could pack it up. Put all those hopes and dreams and aspirations high up on some shelf and pretend they’re not there…but sooner or later I’d come back to them. I’ve tried to quit. It doesn’t work.

I sit here day after day doing this thing because it’s who I am. And I’m being true to my calling. Obedient, if you will, to tell the stories, write it all down in a way that only I can. We are each unique in that. The telling. It’s something that took me a while to learn, to be okay with. I won’t ever write like Jodi Picoult. But she’ll never write like me. I don’t have to be like anyone. I just have to be me. And I’m not all that.

I’m just me.

So what if I simply show up, despite it all, get the words out and say to hell with the waiting, the wondering, the wanting…what if I just DO IT…maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s all I need to do. And maybe some days, the only person who really needs to read those words, is me.